It's Complicated...

So I realised that I didn't post the link to the new blog. Stupid me. Anyways, here you go:

complicated-it-is.blogspot.com

See you soon :D

Goodbye...for now...

Hi everyone!


Ok, so I thought a lot about what I’m going to do but in the end I decided that I’ve made the right decision.

I’m stopping the Diary of a Sometimes Despondent Medic Blog.

But, before you start yelling, I am starting another. Introducing “It’s Complicated”.

I know it seems silly that I’m stopping one blog just to start another but I have my reasons. Firstly, as much as I loved writing Diary of a SD Medic I think that, in a way, it got a little too personal. There were some posts that I really shouldn’t have posted, that concerned things that I should have just wrote in a diary, and then there were posts that were just rants. And although I’m pretty certain that It’s Complicated is going to have some rant filled posts too I wanted to move away from the deeply personal ones. Although I started Diary of a SD Medic as an anonymous outpost for all my inner ravings I realised that there are some things that you should just keep to yourself.

Secondly, the name. If I’m ever going to be happy I can’t go round called myself the Despondent Medic, even if I am only that Sometimes. But I am also oddly proud of that first blog so I didn’t just want to change the name. Hence, It’s Complicated.

Thirdly, following on from not wanting to change the nature of this blog, I wanted to tell you what uni I’m at. It’ll be so much easier to write about my life at medical school if I don’t have to avoid things like module titles and stuff. If you want to find out what uni I’m at you’re going to have to follow It’s Complicated :D

I’ve had so much fun writing Diary of a SD Medic, and I’m really looking forward to writing It’s Complicated. It’s pretty much going to be exactly the same as this blog but without the deeply personal, and slightly disturbing, rants and maybe with a little bit more focus on the medicine side of things. Thank you so much for reading and commenting – it made me feel loved. An especially big thanks to Humaira and Emad for staying loyal even when you realised how crazy I was.

Please follow It’s Complicated. I promise, you won’t be disappointed.

And so, for the last time, here at least...thank you for everything. And toodles. For now. :D

I'm still here...

Hi guys!

I know I haven't blogged in a while. I've been lacking inspiration and, to be honest, not a lot has been happening that is worthy of the blogosphere. I am, however, in the process of creating a new blog to replace this one (don't worry, just a different name but still me!) with a twitter account linked to it (feel free to follow if you have twitter (www.twitter.com/complicateditis)). I will be telling you which uni I go to in this new blog which, hopefully, should be up and running in the next few weeks.

Apart from that, not much. It was my birthday recently, that was nice. I do feel older, although it won't last long - I was the last of my friends to turn nineteen and the twentieth birthday parties are going to be starting very soon.

All for now. Don't worry, I'll be back soon with the final post of this blog and the link to the new one. See you soon.

Toodles.

The End...Of First Year...

This is it. The end. I’ve finished. First year, done and dusted. I’m officially a second year medic.

It was Result’s Day yesterday. I passed!!!!!! Every module!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry. I just can’t get over the fact that everything that I thought had gone terrible actually didn’t turn out that that bad. I shrieked when I found up. I’ve been jumping up and down like a crazed teenage Jonas Brothers fan-girl all day (have you seen them? They're crazy! And when they scream - your brain explodes and you start to lose the will to live. If they were that passionate about the rest of their lives the world would be a better place. Sorry, rant over). And now I can bask in the glory of a medicine free summer. Library, here I come.

So I’m writing this in bed. This is my last night in halls. I can’t believe it’s been a year. Well, actually it’s only been 30 weeks (we pay all that money for 30 weeks!!!!!! Shocking!) but I’m going to call it a year. A year ago I sat in this bed and cried because I missed home. And now I’m sitting crying – partly because of the final episode of Glee and my messed up hormones – because I don’t want to leave. This is my room. It’s full of my junk. I’ve been trying to pack but I just keep finding things. Things I haven’t seen since I first unpacked it a year ago.

It’s crazy. I want to go home. I want to see my family and sit and watch telly and not have to worry about cooking and cleaning and (not) ironing. But I’m going to miss my independence. I’m going to miss sitting up till two in the morning watching telly on my laptop. I’m going to miss going where I want, when I want.

And I’m not looking forward to the arguments that are inevitably going to start after the two week honeymoon period is over. And I’m not looking forward to the arguments that are going to start the moment I see my Dad again.

It’s funny how this year has seen me go through so many medicine and anti-medicine phases. It started off all positive, then it went downhill and now I can’t wait to come back in October and start learning again! Crazy, isn’t it? I think I’m missing vital wires up there.

But first year has been awesome. I thought that I would never be ready to leave school but I realised that it was the perfect time for me to go. I’ve grown so much as a person over this past year. I’ve learnt how to look after myself and other equally important life skills. I’ve lived the student life and stayed up till one in the morning revising. I’ve made great friends, signed a contract on a house, caught spiders all on my lonesome. I’ve been woken up in the early hours by drunken singing and fire alarms. I’ve made the brachial plexus out of pipe cleaners, learnt about vomit, developed a fear of the prosectorium. I’ve learnt a new language – anatomy. I’ve probably seen more plays this year then I have in the past five years. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. I’ve loved every moment of it.

But, no more medicine. At least, not till October. This summer is all about me. All about indulging my interests. It’s going to be filled with books and pads and pens and word documents and by the end of it I’m going to be happier, wiser and infinitely more well-read. And maybe I can throw in a few short stories and half a novel into the mix.

All that’s left to do now is pack. Good bye Uni. First year has been great. Thank you. I’m not sure who I’m saying thank you to but Thank You. For everything.

:D

Don't worry, I'm not dead...

Hi!!

I promise I'll do a new post soon. With a fancy new template, new name and new information that is totally going to ruin the anonymous thing (well, it will a little)! As soon as I can get the template downloader to work. And assuming my computer doesn't die again like it did last week.

Soon. Promise.

Toodles :D

Driftwood...

I feel so listless. I’m drifting, no idea what to do, can’t concentrate on anything for more than a minute. There was once a time I could watch four episodes of a TV show on iPlayer, one after the other. Now I can’t even concentrate and make it through the first ten minutes of one.

I can’t even finish writing this blog post, so sorry, this is all you’re getting.

Help me!

Exam Free Bliss...Kind Of....

Hi everyone!

Sorry I’ve been AWOL for a while. I had exams, then I went home for the weekend and now I’m back at uni waiting for everyone else to come home so we can do all the things we’ve been saying we would do since the start of the year but haven’t got round to yet. And breathe.

So, my first year of medicine is, almost, over. We have a stupid two week project thing to do starting in a week that I’m none too happy about. Every other course has nothing until results day but the medical school feel the need to give us even more work. It’s a poster project, but not poster as in Year 7 poster on cells or something (do you remember when cells were just circles with a black blob nucleus in the middle – oh those were the days!). This is a proper academic poster that is going to be printed off BIG. We have to present it to examiners and then to our peers. Sigh. Good job I didn’t take my GP clothes home with me. But it shouldn’t be too bad. Knowing medics as I do we won’t take two weeks doing it. We’ll meet up on Monday, finish it on Monday then meet up again ten minutes before the presentation the following Thursday.

And then there is the question of re-sits. I’ve been told that I won’t need to re-sit. For some reason everyone thinks I’m uber smart. I’m not. I may have been, once, but I think I reached my academic peak at 17. It’s been all downhill since then. The exams went...ok, but not great. Looking through my notes after the exam just proved how much I had got wrong. It was stupid, I know, but I didn’t look through them out of choice – the same modules were examined on the Monday and the Friday. But, in a way, seeing all my errors may have meant that I did slightly better in the Friday exam then I would have done, so maybe it’s not all bad. So, even though I want a summer completely devoid of medicine – it’s the only way I’ll be able to cope with another year of pre-clinical – I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll be coming back in August. That’s seriously going to mess up my Ramadan.

So what have I been doing since exams finished? Well, I’ve been trying to write. I had this one idea that I was all geared up to do but now I can’t seem to get it started. Then I have two other ideas that I really, really want to write but they’re too similar so I can’t write both. Well, I could, but part of me thinks it would be pointless. But it won’t be pointless because it would get me back in the swing. Either way I’ve wrote just over a thousand words and that’s it. I’ve lost my drive. I’ve lost my drive to do anything. There’s a possibility I’ve been in a worse mood since exams finished. Oh well.

I really need to do some exercise.

I should go try and write some more. Ummm......

P.S. I saw Robin Hood yesterday and it was gooooood. The trailer was completely misleading. I thought Robin was going to be this bad evil guy but he wasn’t. Although if you do want a really evil Robin read “Hodd” by Adam Thorpe. Apparently he cuts someone’s head off. I like what they did with the legend thought, it made a change from the usual. Prince John was amazing. And who knew that red head from ER would be good in a medieval film. But Robin, Marion, there's a time and a place. And mid-battle in the sea surrounded by dying/dead men isn't it. Just thought I'd say that.