An apple for Newton, an orange for somebody else...oh, and Gwendolyn agrees with me...

Today’s post will be a combination of things that have come up over the last, very long, week.

And, oh great, I’ve turned into a lecturer. Does anyone else think those slides at the beginning and end of lectures are pointless – the one’s where they explain what they’re going to talk about, and then what they’ve just said. I know that repeating things are meant to help you learn but seriously, really? Just start already. I don’t want to be here and I want to go home. Everyone else feels the same way. Please, oh please, just get to the interesting bit.

Talking about ways of learning I submitted an essay last week on how I learn. I can’t quite decide if I think it was pointless or not. On one hand it made me sit down and actually physically think about my learning style and, to be honest, doing the VARK questionnaire was fun, even if it didn’t tell me anything new. Although I am inclined to agree with it now after thinking it was stupid when it insisted that part of me likes to learn kinetically. The Anatomy Colouring Book is a gift from God. And my new skeleton, Gwendolyn agrees. Yes, I know it’s a boy, at least I think of it as a boy, but as my friend said – it’s a 45cm skeleton, it already has issues, what’s one more issue really going to do to it’s sanity? Although, it’s not a very good skeleton. The glenohumeral joint isn’t a ball and socket. It has a nail though it so it can’t rotate. The hand (which is all fused) hits the ribs when he/she tries to move. And it can’t pronate/supinate ):

Oh dear, I’ve just realised that Word doesn’t have a very good Medical dictionary. The little red lines are beginning to annoy me.

Normally our lecturers don’t say anything truly gem-like in nature although there were a few good one-liners this week. Don’t get your hopes up, they weren’t joke one-liners; they were just one sentence or so that made me smile/I thought sounded nice:

An apple for Newton, an orange for somebody else (He was referring to clip art of an orange that was meant to represent gravity so it was meant to be an apple...oh forget it)

Decrease the harshness of fecal material (ummm, it’s not yelling at you , is it?)

Back to me, I was just reading those back and they weren’t that great, where they? Oh well, I’m sure one day one of them will say something that will be quoted by med students for years to come :D

This is a slightly random post, sorry.

But the highlight of the week? The picture of the rectal prolapse. Unfortunately the lecture slides aren't up so I'll leave you with these instead. Suffice to say, this made everyone wake up.

And so to conclude...

"Give it me in a nutshell." "Ok, what kind of nut?"

So I tried writing a proper post but all that came out was blabble. I was doing what my English Lit teacher used to call "narrating" - you know, what you're meant to be writing an intelligent essay but instead you end up retelling Jane Eyre or something. Sorry. I'll try again tomorrow. Promise.

Um...that's it...so, bye then...

P.S Credit for the title goes to Terry Pratchett and his "Unseen Academicals". That's not the exact quote. It's actually something about one person trying to explain something to someone else who tries to get them to make it a smaller size of nut, if that makes sense. But you never know with plagarism now a days. Ok, I'm really going to stop now....

On being chased by vampires...

Today was so completely weird that I have to share with you, in all its glory. Today consisted of me losing a LOT of blood. Seriously, not kidding. It wasn’t like a major trauma or anything – it was a series of blood tests that went steadily wrong.

So I had an Occupational Health appointment this morning for ANOTHER repeat blood test. I personally believe they’re making up all this stuff about me having odd results on the surface antigen test – they’re actually vampires who have taken a liking to the taste of my blood. Now I’ve tasted my blood (no, I’m not a vampire – you suck your finger when you cut it, right?) and I don’t see what the obsession is but it’s best not to get on their bad side. I would like to make it to my 19th birthday.

But before that wonderful spectacle was the joy of this morning. See, there’s this guy. I don’t think I’ve told you about him. But he’s this guy (obviously) who I see everywhere. EVERYWHERE. We both go down to breakfast at the same time, normally before any other medics. We both do Medicine. He’s always in the teaching room either before me or after me. Then there was that one time when I left the medschool late and was walking back by myself and managed to run into him and his friend who were coming back to our accommodation from the opposite direction. Right on the corner where the 2 streets met. They were talking about me. It was blatantly obvious. They may be guys but honestly, if you keep looking back at the person behind you and sniggering it’s obvious you’re talking about them. And you’re meant to be smart. Then there was the time we were both on placement and I happened to be walking past his flat at the exact moment he was coming out. It was 7 in the morning. And it was dark.

It sounds like I’m stalking him, doesn’t it? I’m not. I’m not. Promise. Swear, hands down. I am not stalking him. But that’s what it looks like. All that’s actually happening is we both have classes in the same room and we both come down to breakfast early. The other two times (and all the other little ones I’ve failed to mention because it’s too painful to be revisiting such embarrassing memories) were pure coincidence. Once again, I’m not stalking him. But it certainly looks that way. The fact that I’ve never even spoken to him before certainly doesn’t help. And the fact I have him on FB (it was freshers - you added everyone!)

Anyway, back to the matter in hand. This morning’s Oc Health appointment was during the first lecture which meant I got an extra half hour in bed. It also meant I would be coming down for breakfast when everyone else (and him) would be leaving. I timed it so I would come down by the time the bus had gone. So I was walking down the stairs and saw the bus out the window but it was alright because there was his friend, in a seat at the back, and naive little me assumed he would be sitting next to him.

Guess who I almost ran into as I pushed open the door?

Somebody hates me.

The day got better:

So this Oc Health Appointment – she took blood. Ok, fine. (I find it really weird that you come to medschool and everyone tells you the Hep B Blood Test is the first one they've ever had. I must have had at least 25/30.) I went to my doctor’s appointment. He also wanted my blood (see what I meant by vampires?) So I go back out to the waiting room and realise my arm is feeling a bit wet. I look down and my white jumper is covered in blood. The plaster over the first blood test “wound” (well it might as well have been) was saturated. The nurse had managed to pierce the vein on both sides, causing a haematoma. On the day I decide to wear white.

Definitely hates me.

By the end of the day I had had 3 vials of blood removed, lost another vial due to bleeding, lost more blood due to “other” reasons. Add to that the fact I’m iron deficient.

Not a good day.

Let that be a message to all medics – please be careful when taking blood. Otherwise your patients will be walking round looking like they’ve self-harmed.

I haven’t honest.

They say denial is the first sign of guilt. On a roll today!