IKEA...

I've just spent 2 hours at IKEA looking for stuff for my room, you know, plates, pots, pans. In the end everything was way more expensive than ASDA so we came away with a free pot pouri bowl, a frying pan, and four bags of amber coloured pebbles and two scented candles. The candles and the pebbles were 10p each. And that sums up my family's outlook on money perfectly - shop around so you pay as little as possible and, if it's 10p, what are you waiting for! Actually, you can't really blame us considering Mum's a single parent and Brother and I remained at our high school through bursaries and scholarships.

It's so weird though, buying things for my room, in my flat (did I tell you - I have room!!!!!). There are so many little bits and bobs that we still need, like graters and chopping boards. And I know that I'm coming back home during the holidays but it feels like I'm setting up house, and really, really flying the nest. I get all giddy, and giggly and walk round with a huge smile on my face whilst trying to carry three large plastic boxes that I'm using for underbed storage. But at the same time I'm looking at Mum and seeing past the smile on her face to that part of her that really, really doesn't want me to go. Her eldest child leaving the home we've lived in since I was born, leaving her. I know she'll still have Brother but we're best friends and have spent almost every day of the last 18 years together.

Now I'm getting tearfull.

But back to IKEA. Dreadfull store. I felt like I was being herded like cattle through these huge, white Denmarkish (it is from Denmark, isn't it?) rooms on the way to the slaughterhouse. And it was soooo busy I kept losing my Gran in the crowds.

On the other hand, if I had £100 quid to spend and none of the family money policy hanging over my head I would have gone wild!

And you know what I've just realised...

I was watching stuff on youtube (I do that a lot) and you know what I've just realised - this is never going to take off. No one is ever going to read this. This will not be another Julie and Julia Project thingy-m-jig. Because that doesn't happen to me. Nothing good ever happens.

It's unbelievable how I managed to go from all yeah! about the Welcome pack to all eugh! about this is less than half an hour. Now I suppose you understand the title. Despondent. Despondency. I seriously need to go to the doctors before this becomes an actual issue.

And even though I really want to publish this I'm thinking that's kinda a bad idea - hey look, let's check out that blog *reads* dear lord the blogger's depressed! I do not want to see/read what happens to her tomorrow. See ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now I've just realised that I shouldn't be bothered if no one reads this or not. But it's a blog, it's a global diary. If I wanted no one to read it I would have just writted a diary! Dear Lord, I really need to get a life

Welcome to MedSchool!

I got my welcome pack through the post today!!!!!! And it's done nothing but make me even more nervous!! Although the excitment meter is starting to rise!

I have a timetable, albeit one for just the first week! And stuff about the modules I'll be taking, and a reading list, and all this stuff about the MedSoc and Fresher's Fairs and...stuff, stuff, stuff! *hyperventilates* I mean, I'm actually going. I'm leaving. In... 25 days I'm starting uni! Woooooop!!!!!!

Too many exclamation marks, me thinks.

I Hate Toasters...

We decided to have waffles for lunch. Bad idea. My brother had his in the toaster. Now, that in itself I don't mind. I had mine in the toaster and everything went great - I got them out just fine. Brother, on the other hand, some how managed to get his lodged underneath the bar the bread rests on. We have waffle stuck in the toaster. It burns every time someone tries to make toast. The smell is stuck to my nose hairs. Yuck!

Continuing with the theme of kitchens (losely associated, I know) I decided to have a baking spree this week. So far I've made chocolate mouses and...well that its. On the agenda today were banana muffins and apple and oat muffins, but I couldn't find the muffin tins and then the waffle fiasco happened. Now I'm holed up in my room not taking to the Brother (our amonisity today runs deeper than just the toaster incident. It's more to do with...well, maybe I'll safe that for another post). Maybe I'll bake later. Then again, maybe I'll just stay up here and wallow in videos off youtube.

Question though - if the cookbook says "sugar" what type of sugar does it mean? Cause those days when you could walk into the corner shop and ask for a bag of sugar are long gone. Now we have granulated, caster, light brown, dark brown, Demerara, muscavado...Eeep! Help.

Templates and stuff...

I've just spent the last three hours trying to get (1) a template that I like and (2) the chosen template to work. I'm not even sure I really, really like the template, but some of the other ones had toolbars with links on them and my HTLM isn't that good!

I've been thinking about uni and I've realised I'm kinda nervous. And scared. And petrified, which I know is just another word for scared but somehow the two are separate in my brain! Petrified I won't make any friends, petrified I'll be a loser, petrified I know so many people there that my reputation/image won't change. It needs to change, especially if I want to be happy. I really want to be happy.

But I'm excited aswell. It'll be great to live "the student life", to be fully independant for the first time in my life. To do what I want, when I want. To be around live minded people who won't scoff when I say that I like reading Shakespeare or don't really want to go out drinking (not much of a drinker).

I suppose we'll just have to see how it goes. Let me know if any of you out there feel the same way! 

:)

Hello and Welcome...honestly, I'm trying my hardest not to sound corny or old

Hi! I’m the despondent medic!

Pleasantries aside let’s just get one thing straight, before we move on. It may say despondent in the title, but I’m not despondent all the time (hence the sometimes.) Despondency is just an emotion I’m occasionally prone to, recently more than usual. But I’m not depressed – we can just put it down to adolescent angst. I just don’t want anyone to think I’m suicidal or anything, and then for them to go off and alert someone. (That actually happened once, after I wrote a poem in French. You can see why I had to get things clear!)

I’ve wanted to write a blog for a really long time. Not sure why. Maybe I just need an outlet to rant anonymously. And even if no one reads this, which they probably won’t, I think I’m going to write this blog anyway. Maybe it’ll turn out like Julie’s from “Julia and Julie” (or “Julie and Julia” – haven’t seen the film, just the trailer) and someone will give me a book deal, or a column in the Times. Yes, I will dream.

So even though I really want to remain anonymous, I feel you should know a little bit about me. I’m soon to be a first year medical student at a very established redbrick university (and you thought you were going to find out which one!). I like medicine (or at least I hope I do or these past two years were all for nothing) but I’m reading it more for the people than the science. Not that the science isn’t interesting, cause it is, but I like a certain other subject more. And although you will, probably, work out which one from later posts (dreaming again) I’m not going to say right now because certain people can add two and two and bypass the breadcrumbs completely as they march to my door.

So that’s it, for now, because apart from complications in organising student finance (and consequently student accounts) nothing interesting is happening. My brother continues to play video games and awaits the new school year…well, he doesn’t await at all. My mum works, and I try to think up ways of getting as many people as possible reading this blog! For dreams will become reality!

And now I’m starting to sound like a self help man at one of those “You are special!” American conferences.

Another blog soon.